April 5, 2013
I did it! I had a great day. I was smiling, I was happy; I was stress free, I was joyful. I finally gave it all to God! As tough as that was, I did it. I know that I will still have some bad days and some good days but, I know that I cannot control everything.
Today I met my NEW radiation doctor – Dr. Tao in Beverly Hills. Mr. Lee had to go! Sorry Mr. Lee. Dr. Tao and her staff was AMAZING! Loved, loved, loved her. I showed up to my appointment 10 minutes early and was seen on time. Dr. Tao and her staff spent 2 hours with me and my cousin Mita who accompanied me to the appointment. (I have realized that I cannot attend these appointments alones – so I was happy to have family there. She went over all the details thoroughly and also did an examination. She answered all my questions and really put me at ease about my treatment. When I asked her about my skin – she told me that they do a really great job of taking care of patient’s skin while undergoing radiation. I was so happy to hear that because that was one of my concerns. Her nurse also told me about the product called the CAP that you can wear during chemo and it stops your hair from falling out. She told me that the facility across the street that they plan to refer me to for chemo treatment uses the CAP. That made me really excited. If I can go through chemo and not lose my hair – I’M IN! But I have questions, so I am going to look into it. I am also going to look into moving my chemo treatment to Los Angeles since it is closer to where I live. I love my current oncologist – however, I need to do was best for me. Overall it was a very good appointment.
One of my best friends Shanna C. flew in town today. Super excited to see her. When she arrived, we headed straight to my house to get ready for a nice night out. Felt like old times. Me asking her, how does this outfit look, is my make up ok? Should I wear these shoes or these shoes? LOL! It was fun. We laughed the entire night. Shanna is hilarious. You can always count on her to give you a good laugh just from watching her in action. I mean she says the craziest things, she loves to dance, she spilled a drink on my friend’s shoes, and she walked out the venue with a double vodka soda tall! And she made it ALL the way to the car with it, without getting caught…Who does that?!?! Lol. Then we ended the night at Del Taco where she proceeded to order food for all the people at my house…only thing is – that there were no other people at my house. Oh boy I laughed so hard. But I needed that! I love her!
Overall we had a fun filed weekend full of laughter and joy! Below are some pictures from our weekend. I wish she could have stayed, but now its back to reality…
April 8, 2013
Fear
Today was an ok day. It was a Monday and I was coming off of a fabulous weekend where I forgot about everything that I am going through. It was nice. But reality quickly set back in. I tried to keep a smile on my face today and not worry, but it’s hard. I am looking for a new fertility doctor because the one I am currently seeing seems to be all about the money and not about ME! So I am moving on. I have had enough of the yo yo’ing. So now I am looking into either USC Fertility or Southern California Reproductive Medical Center. I will see which office/ doctor I prefer the best.
I am continuing to work on my foundation. I talked to my friend Nicole U. today and she and I are going to have a brainstorming session regarding my logo and website. Yay! I am excited about that.
PSA: I want to thank everyone for their support thus far; it has been an incredible and humbling experience. I feel so blessed. I want all of you to know that you can call me ANYTIME. I know some friends were hesitant to reach out because they did not know what to say. And I totally understand that. But I want you all to know that I am okay.
I have good days and I have bad days. But hearing your voices always makes me smile in the inside even if I may not be smiling on the outside. I love you all and appreciate every single one of you.